Russ Hall

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to music. Not by choice, but by default. My guess is that you are too. It’s not a bad thing, per se, but it’s unavoidable. For example, my musical knowledge is a compilation of the radio, MTV, and my friends. For the most part, the only friend introducing me to new music is Andrew. It’s funny because it’s not necessarily new music, but it’s completely new to me. For example, Tahiti 80… They’re not new, but it’s completely unlike anything I’m used to listening to. Similarly, I’ve paid more attention to Depeche Mode’s new stuff because Andrew and Jon were so into it and recommended it. And… well, that shit is good. The video for “Perfect” is pretty, too. Maybe this is of no consequence, but there’s a lot of music you don’t know about. So, find what you like, seek it out, seek out their influences and listen to as much as you can. Don’t like music just because someone else tells you to, like it because it sounds good to you. Don’t say you like a band after one song, but listen to their catalogue and see if you still like the band. Don’t hold good bands in, share them with the world, assuming the ones you share them with will appreciate them for what they’re worth not as some GAP band. It’s cool to hold those bands close, and keep them semi-secret, if you know others won’t appreciate them for their true value but because they’re told that this band is “the next big thing.”

This seems ranty, but…

Sometimes, when I’m dropping the kids off at the pool, I like to multi-task. Admittedly, some things are obvious, but others you might not have thought of…

• Read. Magazines, books, comics, whatever…
• Follow up on mail. Either reading it, writing something, organizing it somehow, whatever.
• Talk on the phone. My advice: don’t let the person you’re calling know that you’re on the john.
• Clip nails. Fingers or toes, it’s nice to keep trim.
• Knit. I don’t do this, but I think it’d be something to work on while you’re spending all that time just sitting around.
• Judd plays his Game Boy Advance…

How about you, do you do anything odd while you’re droppin’ the deuce?

I think one of the stupidest phrases ever is, “you can’t have your cake and eat it, too,” or variations thereof. If it’s your cake, why the hell can’t you eat it!?

What are some other stupid ones?

In case you haven’t heard, I no longer work at Certified. It’s OK though, I took a couple souveniers with me–a shirt and a sweet coat. I left Certified because Sean told me about a job through a staffing firm, Tek Systems, pulling fiber optic cable in Canton. We ended up working 8-4:30 (read: woke up at 6, got home just before 6) for a company called ACY. The guys we worked with were some of the nicest and funniest guys I’ve ever worked with. But, alas, I left the job with them (even though it was only a contract/temporary job) to be ready to start working at the Sprint store in Mansfield as a sales representative. I finally got everything figured out with them and have a projected start date of Nov. 1st. The manager said if he can, he’ll get me in earlier, but that’s somewhat doubtful. So, now I just have to bide my time until then.

I recently wrote a page dedicated to the Green Jetta Guy. If you don’t know who this is yet, you should read this page. If you do know who it is, you should read the page because it’s an interesting read to have all of the information in the same place. Feel free to comment on the page and add your own sightings, updates, etc. So, go read and enjoy…

So, I’m at work tonight, bored senseless because no one’s buying gas. I decide to step outside for a breath of fresh air. While I’m standing there, minding my business, I hear a car honk and see a waving hand. Normally, I would appreciate this gesture of freindship, but this time a tinge of uneasiness courses through my body. Not because I dislike friendly people, but because the person waving just happened to be the green Jetta guy.
I guess I should explain the backstory… About a month ago, a man came to Certified, filled the tank of his green Jetta, and came in to pay for his gas. Nothing unusual. When he came in, he asked if the restroom was unlocked. I had already locked the men’s room, but told him the women’s was still unlocked. He gave me a funny look and said, “don’t tell anyone, I don’t want people thinking I’m weird…” Unfortunately, as is the norm at the gas station, no one else was around. So, after he was done in the restroom, he came in and decided he wanted to have a little chat. Again, nothing unusual. Then came an odd series of questions…

Green Jetta Guy: Going home to your wife after work? (with an inquisitive look)
Me: Too young to be married.
GJG: To your girlfriend…? (with a hopeful grin)
Me: Oh, she doesn’t live around here…
GJG: Don’t tell me you’re one of them…?
Me: (knowing, but nothing to assume) beg pardon?
GJG: Don’t tell me you’re on that side of the fence?
Me: Oh, no. I said I had a girlfriend…
GJG: Oh, that’s good. I have to find a girlfriend because there’s a rumor at work that I’m gay. And I’m not, so I have to find a girlfriend…

Thankfully, at this incredibly awkward moment, a few customers filed in and he took this as a cue to be on his way. Alas, this was not the last I’d see of the Green Jetta Guy.
The very next day, a splendid and hot summer afternoon, I took Scooter for a walk at the soccer fields near my house. I thought I could use some exercise myself, so I put Scooter on her leash and began jogging around and exploring the area with her. After about 30 minutes, she looked like she needed a break, so we sat down. Two friendly parks dept. employees were there and gave Scooter a biscuit. As I watched them pull away, another car pulled into the parking lot… a green Jetta. What an odd coincidence, right?
Well, a man steps out of the car, wanders over to the trash receptacles, and peers inside. As he slinks over towards me, I notice he’s wearing a Sanitation Dept. shirt (this comes into play later). So, I’m sitting there half-naked in just my shorts with a slight sweat and this guy comes up to me. It is, indeed, the same guy who was at Certified the night before! How weird… He tries to pet Scooter, but she growls and backs up on her hindquarters. Then, he asks me a question, “have a girlfriend?” After this, he launches into the exact same conversation as the night before, explaining about the rumor, assuring me he’s not gay, etc.

Doesn’t he remember me!? It was only 12 hours ago!!!

Anyhow, he realizes I’m not swinging his way and decides that he needs to get back to work.
A few days later, Sean and I are driving and we see this green Jetta at the intersection of Main and Claremont. I quickly run through the story and he starts freaking out. “Ohhhhh man, ohhhh man, no way, ohhhh man.” (in true Sean fashion) He goes into a story about this weird guy who talked with him at Arctic Blast for a really long time and he works for the Sanitation Dept. and drives a green Jetta. I laugh.
As weeks go by, I see the green Jetta drive by Certified with a little Domino’s Pizza car top and duck out of sight. The one time he comes in while I’m working, Heather is also there so I ask her to deal with him to see if he’s as creepy to her as he has been to me. When he pays, I go out to reset the pumps and he races out to his car to leer at me before driving away. “Damn Russ, he practically shoved that money down my throat to follow you out there,” Heather informs me when I get back in.
I don’t see him for awhile. Until, one evening while Cameron’s in town, I see the Jetta cruising up while Cam and I chat in front of Certified. He stares out his window from first glimpse all the way through a traffic light as it turned from yellow then red. We got a kick out of it, I just wish a cop would have been sitting there… “Why did you blow through that light?” “Well, officer, I have an unhealthy obsession with that young man who works at Certified.”
Uneasily, this man is interacting with more and more people in my life. Andrew was waiting at an intersection when who might pull up? Yep, Green Jetta Guy! Andrew notices and then feels the stare reign upon him as Green Jetta Guy smiles that creepy ass smile and they drive their separate ways.
A week and a half ago, when I wrote this, that was the end of the story, but now there’s more. Ryan and I decided to go out for lunch last Sunday. As we were driving, I relayed the whole story to him. Of course, he laughed at it. When we arrived at Friendly’s, there was a green VW Golf in the parking lot and he mocked, “Uh oh, your buddy must be here.” “Dude, shut up, that’s the wrong type of car. If he was here, I’d freak out.” So, we walk in. As we reach the podium, I look towards the ice cream/register area only to be greeted by an all-too-familiar smile. That’s right, I was wrong all along. It was a green Volkswagen hatchback, but it was a Golf not a Jetta. AAHHH!! Ryan laughed while I commenced freaking out. This is too weird.
This story culminated yesterday when Ryan’s friend Jason was here and told me that he knows of the Green Jetta Guy. Apparently, he worked at AU at the same time as Jason and was creepy towards him, as well. So, be on the lookout for an over-friendly, mildly frightening, creepy dude driving a green Jetta Golf. Possibly with a Domino’s Pizza cartopper. If you see him, be certain to avoid eye contact and proceed to the nearest exit.

One of the things I’ve always disliked about blogs is the inability to be notified if someone replies to your comments, so you’re forced to check back on the site regularly, even if no one has said anything (maybe this prompts more frequent site reading?). Either way, I was talking with Andrew about it the other day and set out to devise a way to handle it. Ideally, I would be able to write a post then it would resemble a forum, in handling comments. But, I think I found a compromise. I run blog software called WordPress and it features plug-ins, so I’m hoping the one I just installed works. Anyhow, at the bottom of the comments page for an entry, it says something like, “Manage Subscriptions.” So, you can subscribe to an entry with your email address and be notified when someone responds to your comments. BLAM!

Now, you oughta comment more, since not enough people do.